Happy Hour: Exploding Smart Cars

Hello, everyone! Happy International Women Day! I am finally sort-of on time typing today's story, unlike the (stupid) tow truck that had to come and get me Tuesday. I hope everyone's week is 1000x better than mine, because my week decided to start a nuclear war with me. It's only Thursday and I wanted this week to end Tuesday, so congratulations, after this post, I am quitting my life for a day.

ANYWAY, this week's happy hour story is totally about exploding smart cars, because that happened to me Tuesday.

Okay, it literally didn't explode, BUT my tires did explode.

I drive a cute black smart car, it's not the actual brand Smart Car; it's actually a Scion IQ, it's the size of a smart car.

Boaty, the Boatmobile (aka the smart car I drive), looks like this, only black.

Thank God my parent's got me the black car, it matches my soul (ha ha, kidding). Red is not my color and the orange one looks like a large piece of Orange Chicken from Panda Express on wheels.

ANYWAY, these things are EXTREMELY dangerous, especially I drive like it's the Grand Prix 90% of the time.

I legit look like that.

Actually, Boaty goes pretty fast; Boaty can go up to 120 MPH.

The gas is great, it's easy to park, marge in between large cars, etc. But they are so, so dangerous because people do not see us small car drivers. Also, if I got hit by a larger car, like an SUV, I am guaranteed to be dead upon impact. At least, I die a quick death, right?

But I am a safe driver, so I am Gucci, for now.

Another bad thing about these smart cars is that they have wagon wheels. They're expensive to get, hard to find, and you have to order them in advance. So, when my tire exploded on the Freeway, during rush hour, IN the HOV lane this past Tuesday, I knew I was screwed for a week.

I'm serious, my little wagon wheels went POP! So, I had swerve into the lane next to the HOV lane, I called my dad, and stood outside of Boaty eating a cheeseburger. The Tow truck was supposed to be there by 3pm (Boaty's tire popped around 2:25 pm). THE TOW TRUCK SHOWED UP AROUND 5:40 PM.

So, during those 3 hours, I had 2 near death experiences. It was fantastic. A DPS Officer (Highway police) showed up, he was so nice, he stayed with me as long as he could and he put out a flare for me. Before he left, I was instructed by him to stay in Boaty with my seat-belt on, because if I got hit, I was guaranteed to die on impact, but if I was buckled up, I wouldn't fly through the windshield (in Arizona, if you're in the HOV lane going less than 80/85 MPH, you're hazard to those going 95-110 MPH). He wished me luck and left.

Next, a nice older man pulled over to make sure I was OK and he was willing to change my tire, but I did not have a spare. Meanwhile he was trying to help me out, another DPS Officer came by, told me the same thing the first officer told me and left. Soon, the man who tried to help left as well.

Now, it's around 5 PM, no tow truck, people are swerving everywhere trying to get home. An accident happened in the lane I was in. Not behind me, but 20 feet ahead of me. DPS and an ambulance came in BEHIND me, they asked if I was okay and I told them that the accident that they were looking for was 20 feet ahead. Then I was alone again, for 30 more minutes.

The tow truck finally showed up, the tow truck due was blocking the HOV lane in the middle of rush hour traffic and I am certain I was forced to commit a felony, but the truck driver DID NOT let me enter through the drivers side, I HAD TO WALK IN THE HOV WHILE THERE WERE CARS MOVING TO ENTER THE STUPID DAMN TOW TRUCK. Seriously, if someone swerved into the HOV lane where I was walking, smack, I am dead, just like that.

The tow truck driver took me to a tire place, I got new wheels that fitted the rim. On my way back home, I GOT ANOTHER FLAT TIRE; AND IT WAS ONE OF THE NEW TIRES.

I CAN NOT DO THIS CAR MAINTENANCE THING.

(Internal screaming)

So, NOW after 48 hours, Boaty is back home and everything is OK, for now. Look at my tire below.

I am so tired, broke, and irritated. That is it for this week's happy hour story. There will be NO Happy Hour next Thursday, I have spring break and I am taking a break from life. In the meantime, avoid walking in the HOV lane. See you guys in 2 weeks!